Right now, metal’s crown prince of darkness Ozzy Osbourne is preparing to release his 13th studio album, Patient Number 9. We’ve already heard one track from the record, the incredibly heavy title track; now we’re getting a taste of a second single, this one titled “Degradation Blues” and featuring Black Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi. But unlike the last track, this song isn’t about madness, or despair, or the dark corners of the mind — nope, it’s about jackin’ it too often!

When we first heard the chorus of “Degradation Rules” and heard Ozzy yell, “Asphyxiation! Masturbation!”, we didn’t think much of it, because bands have been working the word masturbation into songs to fix a rhyme since Hector was a pup (usually it’s some weird twist on the phrase, like mental masturbation). But no, then Ozzy goes on to talk about “sticky little magazines,” and even says, “The hand that beats you also makes you blind.” We’re about 99.999% positive this song is about the Sin of Onan.

Check out the track below, just keep the door open. Ozzy’s new record Patient Number 9 drops September 9th — hey, 9 on 9/9! Cool, like an inverted 666! — and is available for preorder. Meanwhile, the following dates on Ozzy’s farewell tour are still on schedule:

May 2023
Wed 3 | Finland, Helsinki | Hartwall Arena
Fri 5 | Sweden, Stockholm | Friends Arena
Sun 7 | Germany, Dortmund | Westfalenhalle
Wed 10 | Spain, Madrid | WiZink Center
Fri 12 | Italy, Bologna | Unipol Arena
Sun 14 | Germany, Munich | Olympiahalle
Wed 17 | Hungary, Budapest | Budapest Arena
Fri 19 | Czech Republic | Prague | O2 Arena
Sun 21 | Switzerland, Zurich | Hallenstadion
Wed 24 | Germany, Hamburg | Barclaycard Arena
Fri 26 | Germany, Mannheim | SAP Arena
Sun 28 | Germany, Berlin | Mercedes-Benz Arena
Wed 31 | UK, Nottingham | Motorpoint Arena

June 2023
Fri 2 | UK, Newcastle | Utilita Arena
Sun 4 | UK, Glasgow | Ovo Hydro
Wed 7 | UK, Manchester | AO Arena
Sat 10 | Ireland, Dublin | 3 Arena
Mon 12 | UK, London | O2 Arena
Wed 14 | UK, Birmingham | Resorts World Arena